It's Okay to Feel Empty Sometimes.
In case you needed to hear that, too.
I know in my last post I promised to share more about the places and things I love and have listed on my page…but first, a confession:
I’m a bit of a lazy witch. I love the idea of daily spells, rituals, and conjurings…but more than I’d like to admit, days will go by before I realize I haven’t given my altar a second glance. The only thing I’ve been doing (somewhat) consistently is lighting my Banish candle, hoping its badass intention (complete with cemetery dirt, I might add) does its magic on the assholes in the Whitehouse.
I make this confession because lately, I’ve been trying to become more conscious of the moon’s cycles, hoping it will give me a much-needed guideline of intention to focus on in my practice. This was a nudge I got for a client during a reading, and I thought, huh. Maybe I should do that for myself. Plus, we Virgos like guidelines.
Poking around for the perfect Moon Phase chart on Pinterest, I found this one that spoke to me.
At the time of this writing, the moon is in its waning crescent stage. Reading this interpretation of recuperating and resting, I felt a sweet little tug at my heart to have it also tell me that “it’s okay to feel empty sometimes.”
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we notice things when we need to see or experience them. I needed to hear that from some random stranger I wish I could give credit to, and I have a feeling that if it’s something that stood out to me, you may need to hear it, too.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels pressure to always be ‘doing something.’ And by that, I mean something meaningful. Something lasting. Something “worth my time.” Something earth-shattering. This isn’t a directive I get from anyone around me; it’s one I tend to give myself. It is so deeply embedded that I didn’t even realize it was there until I read that kind and gentle encouragement.
Because I love to think in tarot, it immediately brought to mind the Four of Cups. I often interpret this card as a person being so focused on what’s ahead of them, that they don’t see what’s being offered. As the Cups are all about feelings and emotions, whatever they are contemplating, grieving, or focusing on is something they are passionate about. I always felt bad for the little guy in the card; in most interpretations I’ve seen, he’s typically looking sad, frustrated, or a bit lost. Maybe even stubborn. I desperately want to help him. I want to reach into the card and shake him gently, saying, “Dude! Just look behind/next to you!”
But this waning crescent moon suggestion made me stop and think that maybe it’s okay to give that little guy some time to ignore the other things around him. Even if it’s a shiny, beautiful object offered by a fantastical, beautiful mermaid. Even if it’s something good and helpful. Maybe he’s not ready to see it yet; perhaps he will only add it to the row of Cups sitting in front of him, re-cross his arms, and whatever opportunity it may have been will be wasted.
Sometimes it’s okay to feel empty. Empty doesn’t necessarily mean bad. Empty means clear of clutter. Something not filled or occupied. Man, are we ever filled and occupied with all sorts of clutter, every damn day.
Feeling empty asks us to evaluate. Where does that emptiness come from? Is it from a true, genuine loss? Is it caused by heartbreak or grief? Is it caused by feeling less-than, getting hurt, feeling unimportant, or unnoticed? By soul-searching and/or seeking help from others, these thoughts are worth looking into to fill that hole with people and experiences that refill your cup.
Or is emptiness caused by ennui? Or overwhelm? Perhaps being ‘unoccupied’ is exactly what you need, and nothing needs to be sought. Nothing needs to be fixed or filled. Our minds want to stay occupied because we feel ‘lazy’ if we aren’t solving a problem, finding an answer, figuring out what to do next, or producing. Or, we want to keep our heads cluttered to avoid feeling empty. There can be a lot of fear in that. And why? Why are we so afraid to feel empty for a time?
Soon after David Lynch’s death (RIP!!!) I read how he reminded us that the Beatles song “Across the Universe” has a special message about this very thing. The lyric “Nothing’s going to change my world” isn’t meant to imply defeat or defiance; it’s to be taken literally. John Lennon is telling us that nothing—quieting the mind, reaching that place of simply Being—is what changes his world. Being blissfully empty.
The idea is to sit with the emptiness to allow yourself to get to a place of clarity. This is the space to notice and experience what is meaningful. To be undistracted so you can get the most out of whatever the clarity leads you to. So you will not merely be filled but FULfilled.
I may have had this great epiphany, but I’m not going to lie and say it will be easy for me. It’s more of a revelation, and something I know will be a work in progress. No one has higher expectations for myself than I do, and I’m willing to bet it’s the same for you. When the world has told us to work more, do more, earn more, be more, it’s really tough to give yourself permission to say NO and feel okay about that. We have been conditioned well.
Write About It
Does reading this make you realize that you have high expectations of yourself to be DOING all the time? Do you think selecting ‘empty’ on the trash button of your mind may be just what the doctor ordered? Maybe you don’t feel that way right now, but I hope you remember that if you do, it’s okay. Nothing may very well be exactly what you need to do to experience exactly what you want.
It’s worth journaling about. What could be filling your mind? How does it make you feel to trash it? To not ‘do’ anything for an entire day? What comes up for you?
How about your story…what happens if your character does nothing for a day? What will come up for them?
